Before I went to treatment, my marriage had nearly ended in divorce. I had no friends, and my family never saw me. I didn’t enjoy anything in my life, except maybe work but mostly because it was a relief and a distraction.
I have taken all the tools and strategies learned in treatment and applied them to life back home. It’s a tough journey. Daily, I have to resist the urge to slip back into isolation, fear, and anger. I go in for outpatient therapy at least once a week and keep up with my therapist. He’s been a huge help in transitioning back to home life.
My wife has been amazing, too. Not only are we not divorced, but we both feel our relationship is stronger than ever. I’m slowly working on rebuilding friendships and relationships with family too. They have some lingering resentment because I ignored them for so long. I don’t blame them, but I’m working on explaining it.
In the meantime, I take solace in work. I enjoy some new hobbies like listening to music at night instead of playing video games. I have taken up running and signed up for a race. Having a goal and something that forces me to make healthy choices is useful.
I know that the memories of my traumatic experiences will never go away. They will never be okay. But they are no longer the focus of my life. I may still have moments where they threaten to overwhelm me, but I can cope now. I’m going to be on this journey indefinitely. I am constantly making progress, and I am so grateful.