I remember …
With nostalgia when my family and my friends’ families lived close to one another. I remember holidays were always spent with family. Unfortunately, nothing stays the same forever. I am reminiscing about family togetherness because Sunday is Mother’s Day. How will I spend mine?
NOTHING STAYS THE SAME FOREVER
In today’s world, things are different. Thousands of grandchildren, adult children, parents, and grandparents float from city to city. They are adrift without their family anchor. Divorce is rampant and fatherless homes are on the uptick. Moving away from family is no longer a ‘big deal,’ that is until they move and know the feeling of loneliness.
I dare say that millions of families around the world would be so much better served if the family was, as it should be, the center of life.
Mother’s Day is a reminder of family togetherness. My family celebrated all occasions together. Birthdays, graduations, anniversaries, and holidays were celebrated with those we loved. Today I wonder… how many families do. On a personal note, I know of several who can’t, including my own. And, I am sure you do too.
IT STARTED WITH ME
My large blended family began their personal journey lOng ago. And, truth be told, it started with me!
This dawned on me as I sat at my computer bemoaning the loss of family members at my Mother’s Day table. Years ago when I was in my 30s I did the same thing that all my family members are doing now. I moved!
I did think of the consequences for five years before I told my late husband I was ready. This was my thinking: If we were miserable …we would come home! Nothing was going to stop me from this adventure because I had ‘my’ little family and we would celebrate life together. And, we did.
When I told my parents I was moving halfway across the world, they almost died. Along with my late husband and our young children, we moved to Honolulu, Hawaii.
Looking back, I really had guts to move to an island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. How did I have the courage? The answer. I had no fear.
I was motivated to experience a new lifestyle. With my little family, I embarked on an adventure that proved to be fruit-bearing. The enormity of the move and the experiences we shared enhances all our lives to this day.
Now I realize how my parents felt when I moved far away. But, how could I open my mouth and object when, later in life, when one of my daughters moved to Arizona! As our gang grew up the grandchildren left for universities.
And then continued on their moves to … Arizona, the Big Apple, Texas, San Fran, and Idaho. I bid them farewell as they set off for sights unknown to seek their dreams. All the while knowing in my heart how I felt when I did the same.
But like everything in life, there is a downside for separated families. Brothers and sisters separated. Grandparents, parents, and children separated. The family celebrations and meaningful moments are forsaken for new horizons.
But, and there is always a but, thank goodness our children and grands are all content and joyful in their new environments. I know they miss their family because they tell us in different ways. 90% of them stay connected to us on a consistent basis. Texts, Sunday phone calls, FaceTime, visits. Trips together. Words: “I love you.” “I miss you.” “Are you guys ok?” “When are you coming to visit?”
AN OPEN WORLD
Since my daughter, my son-in-law, and three grandchildren departed to Arizona, I have had a love-hate relationship. Not with them but with the Wright Brothers! How could I not? Even though I wholeheartedly took advantage of their invention.
The airplane opened the windows of my world, my daughter’s and our other grandchildren’s world. It has allowed all of us to nourish our wanderlust for exploring and learning. And meeting people from all walks of life.
Thank you, Wilbur and Orville. Your invention allowed me to feed into my curiosity for everything, big and small. I chose with deliberateness to live an adventurous life outside the box. And experience all life has to offer with my late husband, Michael and now with my darling Ultimate Concierge. However, admittedly, I closed a most important window a large family life.
It is painful not to spend time with my daughter and all our Grandchildren. Because I know the pleasures of my childhood spent with my parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. The rewards, embedded in my mind, are to this day immeasurable.
I would give anything to be able to run over to my daughter’s and all my grandchildren’s homes. To take them for a pizza, to the movies, for a burger and fries. Or for a pair of Levis or sit in front of the fireplace and talk … all on the spur of the moment.
I know mothers and grandmothers have so much knowledge to pass on to their brood. With the ultimate hope of ‘leaving them their knowledge in their head. Leaving knowledge is a far better gift than money.
MOTHER’S DAY CELEBRATION 2022
Did you know that double numbers mean good luck? This is the year, 2022. So, on this Mother’s Day, though I will not be with my large family, I feel very lucky knowing my family is well.
My luck stretches onward because I still have a mother to celebrate and she will be by my side. Along with Nanette, her caregiver, who has become my close friend. My first best friend, Gail, and her son will be at our table. She is my lucky charm for many reasons but mainly because she introduced me to my Ultimate Concierge.
I also invited Stella, my Ultimate Concierge’s personal assistant and her son. They are from Romania and have no family in America. And my personal assistant Elena and her 3 children. Her husband is a cop and will be on duty.
And, thank goodness I have my Ultimate Concierge to make my gathering possible. We will all have brunch together at the Ritz.
On this Mother’s Day, I am giving back to people in my life who nourish me on a daily basis with wisdom, joy, and friendship. Yes, I will miss my family but like I said, “There are upsides and there are downsides.
My philosophy is “When you are thrown a lemon, you can turn it into sweet lemonade.”
I wish all of you… mothers, grandmothers, aunts, and fairy godmothers a happy Mother’s Day in ‘22. Many of you, like me, will not be fortunate enough to be with your families. But you have personal memories. I have mine of growing up with solid roots and celebrating marvelous occasions with family. And so do our children. Memories are forever.
HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY FROM MY HOME TO YOUR HOME.
I stay in touch with my grandchildren by text messaging, short videos, our home phone, cells, and of course, FaceTime. And you know I love my Google Hub Max for just this purpose! With it I can cook with my kids and grands, or just chat while I’m getting ready for my day.
We visit. They visit. Nevertheless, it is not the same as having consistent relationships. We can be a Queen Bee grandmother from afar and do our best. Hopefully, we will ‘leave’ our grandchildren with much in their heads!!!
I’d love to hear about your plans for Mother’s Day. Will you be able to spend it with the ones you love? Please share in the comments.
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