These funny friendship quotes will make you laugh while reminding you just how special your true friends are to you in life.
It can be argued that there is no greater treasure than true friendship. There have been countless books, movies, and stories based on the value of friendship.
What does friendship mean to you?
Everyone has an opinion on friendship, from authors and politicians, to TV personalities! Grab a group of friends and enjoy a laugh with these funny friendship quotes. Some of these are as awkwardly humorous as the best friendships!
Here is our collection of the best quotes about friendship, collected from a variety of sources over the years. Enjoy!
1. “I don’t like to commit myself about heaven and hell – you see, I have friends in both places.” – Mark Twain
2. “It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
3. “It is more fun to talk with someone who doesn’t use long, difficult words but rather short, easy words like, ‘What about lunch?’” – A.A. Milne
4. “Tis the privilege of friendship to talk nonsense, and have her nonsense respected.” – Charles Lamb
5. “Marriage is a sort of friendship recognized by the police.” – Robert Louis Stevenson
6. “There is nothing better than a friend, unless it is a friend with chocolate.” – Linda Grayson
7. “Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art…. It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things which give value to survival.” – C.S. Lewis
8. “Some people go to priests; others to poetry; I to my friends.” – Virginia Woolf
9. “We know our friends by their defects rather than by their merits.” –William Somerset Maugham
10. “Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: What! You too? thought I was the only one.” – C.S. Lewis
11. “If you have two friends in your lifetime, you’re lucky. If you have one good friend, you’re more than lucky.” – S.E. Hinton
12. “There’s not a word yet for old friends who’ve just met.” – Jim Henson
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13. “Friendship is not possible between two women, one of whom is very well dressed.” – Laurie Colwin
14. “One sure way to lose another woman’s friendship is to try to improve her flower arrangements.” – Marcelene Cox
15. “Men kick friendship around like a football and it doesn’t seem to crack. Women treat it like glass and it falls to pieces.” – Anne Lindbergh
Funny Friendship Quotes that are slightly awkward
16. “There is nothing like puking with somebody to make you into old friends.” – Sylvia Plath
17. “Friendship is like peeing in your pants. Everyone can see it, but only you can feel the warm feeling inside.” – Unknown
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18. “Having those weird conversations with your friend and thinking if anyone heard us, we’d be put in a mental hospital.” – Unknown
19. “Friends make you smile — best friends make you giggle ’til you pee your pants.” – Terri Guillemets
20. “I don’t know what’s tighter, our jeans or our friendship.” – Unknown
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21. “Most of us don’t need a psychiatric therapist as much as a friend to be silly with.” – Robert Brault
22. “I think we’ll be friends forever because we’re too lazy to find new friends.” – Unknown
23. “Friends come and go, like the waves of the ocean, but the true ones stay, like an octopus on your face.” – Unknown
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24. “This is by far your worst idea ever…I’ll be there in 15 minutes.” – Unknown
25. “We’ve been friends for so long I can’t remember which one of us is the bad influence.” – Unknown
26. “Friends are people who know you really well and like you anyway.” – Greg Tamblyn
27. “If you can survive 11 days in cramped quarters with a friend and come out laughing, your friendship is the real deal.” – Oprah Winfrey
28. “Friends give you a shoulder to cry on. But best friends are ready with a shovel to hurt the person that made you cry.” – Unknown
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29. “True friends don’t judge each other, they judge other people together.” – Emilie Saint-Genis
30. “Friends don’t let friends do stupid things… Alone.” – Unknown
31. “A good friend will help you move. But a best friend will help you move a dead body.” – Jim Hayes
32. “You can always tell a real friend: when you’ve made a fool of yourself he doesn’t feel you’ve done a permanent job.” – Laurence J. Peter
33. “When you’re in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, Damn, that was fun.” – Groucho Marx
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34. “As your best friend I’ll always pick you up when you fall, after I finish laughing.” – Unknown
35. “A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked.” – Bernard Meltzer
36. “I don’t need a psychiatrist to prod into my personal life and make me tell them all my secrets, I have my friends for that.” – Unknown
37. “Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.” – Oprah Winfrey
38. “A true friend is someone who is there for you when they would rather be someplace else.” – Len Wein
39. “A friend is one that knows you as you are, understands where you have been, accepts what you have become, and still, gently allows you to grow.” – William Shakespeare
40. “We’ll be best friends forever because you already know too much.” – Unknown
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Funny friendship quotes involving money and politicians
41. “The holy passion of friendship is so sweet and steady and loyal and enduring a nature that it will last through a whole lifetime, if not asked to lend money.” – Mark Twain
42. “I’ve always said that in politics, your enemies can’t hurt you, but your friends will kill you.” – Ann Richards
43. “I have no trouble with my enemies. I can take care of my enemies all right. But my damn friends – they’re the ones that keep me walking the floor nights!” – Warren G. Harding
44. “Friendship is like money, easier made than kept.” – Samuel Butler
45. “There are three faithful friends, an old wife, an old dog, and ready money.” – Benjamin Franklin
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Funny friendship quotes from philosophers
46. “True friendship is seen through the heart, not through the eyes.” – Friedrich Nietzsche
47. “A friend to all is a friend to none.” – Aristotle
48. “Love is blind; friendship closes its eyes.” – Friedrich Nietzsche
49. “No one is a friend to his friend who does not love in return.” – Plato
50. “Plato is my friend, Aristotle is my friend, but my greatest friend is truth.” – Isaac Newton
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51. “Sometimes me think, ‘What is friend?’ Then me say, ‘Friend is someone to share the last cookie with.’” — Cookie Monster
52. “It’s the friends you can call up at 4 a.m. that matter.” — Marlene Dietrich
53. “Only your real friends will tell you when your face is dirty.” — Sicilian Proverb
54. “Tis the privilege of friendship to talk nonsense, and to have her nonsense respected.” —Charles Lamb
55. “I do not want people to be very agreeable, as it saves me the trouble of liking them a great deal.” — Jane Austen
56. “You find out who your real friends are when you’re involved in a scandal.” — Elizabeth Taylor
57. “One loyal friend is worth ten thousand relatives.” — Euripides
58. “One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim.” — George Carlin
59. “To like and dislike the same things, that is what makes a solid friendship.” — Sallust
60. “Friendship is a wildly underrated medication.” — Anna Deavere Smith
Which of these funny friendship quotes resonated with you best?
Hopefully, you have been blessed with a friendship like this! The kind of relationship where you are truly valued and can be yourself is one of life’s greatest riches.
If you are missing a good friend give them a call and catch up! Tag them and share this selection of funny friendship quotes and let them know that for a moment they were on your mind.
No distance is too great, no time too long, when you can share a laugh over the same thing. It is kind of like wishing on the same star!
Which of these funny friendship quotes and sayings resonated with you best? Do you have any other favorite quotes to add? Tell us in the comment section below. We would love to hear all about it.