These pizza quotes are funny—and will definitely remind you that pizza is life.
I’m a New York girl living in Montana and let me tell you, the one thing I regret is not being able to get some of the best pizza ever.
If you haven’t had a piece of New York pizza, you should add that to your bucket list. You can buy it by the slice and it is a slice of heaven! Florida pizza, depending on the area you are in, can be close because so many New Yorkers move there. It just isn’t quite the same, though.
My sister, who worked at a pizzeria in New York, swears it is because of the water. Something about how the tap water they used to make the dough is different. I don’t know why, but I know it is just better than pizza I have had anywhere else!
Keep reading through the pizza quotes to learn some interesting facts about this delicious slice of Americana.
Don’t forget to also check out these cake quotes about the wonderful dessert that makes every celebration better.
Funny pizza quotes
1. “I think of dieting, then I eat pizza.” — Lara Stone
2. “You can’t go wrong with pizza unless it’s terrible pizza.” — Andy Kindler
3. “Ideas are like pizza dough, made to be tossed around.” — Anna Quindlen
4. “And I don’t cook, either. Not as long as they still deliver pizza.” — Tiger Woods
5. “We don’t promote or advocate people eating a whole pizza.” — John Schnatter
6. “Neapolitans have always had their fast food. It’s called pizza.” — Luciano De Crescenzo
7. “You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I’m not hungry enough to eat six.” — Yogi Berra
8. “I love pizza. I want to marry it, but it would just be to eat her family at the wedding.” — Mike Birbiglia
9. “I don’t eat vegetables. I only eat food like cheeseburgers, Spam, hot dogs and pizza.” — Art Donovan
10. “I write with pen and paper. I don’t have a mobile or computer, because I know how great they are. If I did, I’d never leave the house—you’d find me in six months, dead under a pile of pizza boxes.” — John Cooper Clarke
Pizza quotes from movies
11. “Extra cheese is two dollars.” — Do the Right Thing, 1989
12. “A lovely cheese pizza—just for me.” — Home Alone, 1990
13. “I’m in love. I’m having a relationship with my pizza.” — Eat Pray Love, 2010
14. “The mystic pizza—I assume that’s the house special.” — Mystic Pizza, 1988
15. “Oh boy, oh boy, Mom. You sure can hydrate a pizza.” — Back to the Future, 1989
16. “Seriously guys. If the consulate ordered a pizza it would’ve been there by now.” — 13 Hours, 2016
17. “Wise man say: Forgiveness is divine, but never pay full price for late pizza.” — Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, 1990
18. “I submit to you…novantanove formaggio! The ninety-nine-cheese pizza.” — Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, 2014
19. “I want all of you to know—If the pizzas don’t arrive, I’ve already made the decision that we will eat Byong Sun.” — Kicking and Screaming, 2005
20. “We’ve punched the pizza dough, and it’s time to sauce it up. Oh boy, is my mouth watering.” — Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story, 2004
Pizza quotes for Instagram
21. “I’m always in the mood for pizza.” — Emma Kenney
22. “Cold pizza is a perfect breakfast, with lots of salt.” — Lemmy
23. “You judge a pizza place on their cheese slice.” — Dave Portnoy
24. “I love pizza; you can’t really go wrong with pizza.” — Nick Jonas
25. “Pizza makes me think that anything is possible.” — Henry Rollins
26. “I would never win an award for not loving pizza.” — Dwayne Johnson
27. “Everybody likes pizza! It’s a quick and easy clean-up meal.” — Buddy Valastro
28. “My favorite foods are things that aren’t great to eat, like pizza.” — Stephen Pagliuca
29. “There’s no better feeling in the world than a warm pizza box on your lap.” — Kevin James
30. “Wealth is not a pizza, where if I have too many slices you have to eat the Domino’s box.” — P. J. O’Rourke
Pizza quotes about life and work
31. “You can say Pizza Hut is terrible pizza, but they also sell more pizzas than anybody else.” — Jimmy Kimmel
32. “I can’t remember a Friday when I was younger when I wasn’t eating a pizza, flirting with the barman.” — Florence Pugh
33. “I have to admit I don’t like pizza. I love it. And I am prepared to do literally anything to get my hands on a slice.” — Liz Truss
34. “Making pizza is a great job. All that kneading the dough – everything to do with cooking is wonderful, sensual.” — Claire Denis
35. “You get to where you kind of like it, and It’s a habit That’s hard to break. I still find myself sittin’ in a cafe, like a pizza parlor.” — Chris LeDoux
36. “Life is full of challenges, but I always have the Three Ps: Passion, patience and persistence. And the fourth one is pizza.” — Butch Hartman
37. “It’s the old adage: You can make a pizza so cheap, nobody will eat it. You can make an airline so cheap, nobody will fly it.” — Gordon Bethune
38. “You can do irrefutably impossible things with the right amount of planning and support from intelligent and hardworking people and pizza.” — Scott M. Gimple
39. “Hype is supposed to overpromise and underdeliver, not overpromise and overdeliver. Usually, it doesn’t deliver at all – it takes your money and keeps your pizza.” — Steve Rushin
40. “The radiation left over from the Big Bang is the same as that in your microwave oven but very much less powerful. It would heat your pizza only to minus 271.3*C – not much good for defrosting the pizza, let alone cooking it.” — Stephen Hawking
Pizza quotes about dieting and healthy eating
41. “I don’t eat fast food, but I can’t live without pizza.” — Trevor Donovan
42. “I eat junk food, cheesecake, cheese, pizza—but just lower amounts of it.” — JWoww
43. “I wasn’t going to McDonald’s every week, but a nice pizza after three points isn’t a bad way to have it.” — Jordan Pickford
44. “When working, my diet degrades to pizza three times a day, because I don’t want to distract myself from anything.” — Chuck Palahniuk
45. “I love savory foods and most of the time those aren’t the best for staying trim. Burgers, fries, burritos – I like them all a lot. I’ve pretty much given up on pizza though because I just can’t digest the dough anymore.” — Yannick Bisson
46. “I eat whatever I want. I don’t follow any diet. The reason I work out is so that I can eat. If it’s a bikini shoot, of course, you should not eat a pizza a day before. Otherwise, I am not a dieting kind of person. If I am hungry, I make sure I eat.” — Amyra Dastur
47. “For breakfast, I juice a big green juice, and I try to get in as much raw food and protein as I can, obviously plant proteins and legumes, but sometimes it’s late at night, and there’s a frozen pizza in there, and sometimes it’s all you’ve got! You don’t have the energy to chop up a bunch of vegetables.” — Christina Applegate
48. “I generally always eat what I want. I think when you work out a lot, you can afford to eat more because your body’s metabolism is higher. I like healthy food and prefer that anyway, but if I want pizza or a can of Coca-Cola every once in a while, I’m going to have it. I just try to have a few slices, and that’s it.” — Elsa Hosk
49. “If I could eat whatever I wanted every day, I would have Domino’s pizza with pasta carbonara inside every slice. And at night, I would have Neapolitan ice cream until I felt absolutely toxic. And then I would drift off telling myself: It’s going to be O.K… It’s going to be O.K. you’re going to train in the morning.” — Robert Downey, Jr.
50. “We are all human beings, and we all have insecurities, but it’s about being healthy and happy with yourself. I’m not perfect, and I will indulge in pizza and sweets on occasion. The goal is to make the majority of your decisions good for your body. So listen to your body, and treat it like your temple.” — Jacqueline MacInnes Wood
Interesting pizza facts
You might wonder if pizza is really considered “Americana.” Well, given that Americans eat approximately 100 acres of pizza each day (or 350 slices per second), I think it’s a pretty accurate statement.
Add to that the fact that October is National Pizza Month, and it really isn’t even arguable anymore! October has held this distinction since 1987, almost a year before the premiere of Mystic Pizza.
You could almost argue that pizza is a global phenomenon since over 5 billion pizzas are sold worldwide each year. About 36% of the pizzas in America have pepperoni on them. In fact, we consume around 251,770,000 pounds of pepperonis every year. However, women are twice as likely as men to order vegetables on their pizza.
Now in Japan, their toppings are a little more interesting and include things like squid and Mayo Jaga (mayonnaise, potato, and bacon). I think I will stick to pineapple, mushrooms, and black olives. And yes, pineapple belongs on a pizza…
What is your favorite kind of pizza? Do you have any other pizza quotes and sayings to add? Let us know in the comment section below.