These Morticia Addams quotes will have you trying to decide whether to laugh or be shocked.
It is 2021, and we are eagerly awaiting the opportunity to see The Addams Family 2 in theaters, but the show that started it all premiered in 1964. The American sitcom was a macabre/black comedy based on the characters from Charles Addams’ New Yorker cartoons.
The show ran for 30-minutes and was shot in black and white. It aired for two seasons on ABC from September 18, 1964, to April 8, 1966, for a total of 64 episodes. The opening theme song, which is recognizable by nearly everyone was sung by Vic Mizzy.
Morticia Addams, the matriarch of the creepy and kooky family, was a fan favorite and had some incredibly funny quotes that would make the audience die of laughter.
When the film series got revamped in the 90s with a feature film series consisting of The Addams Family (1991) and Addams Family Values (1993) viewers were thrilled to see Anjelica Huston deliver some witty and dark humor as Morticia Addams.
The series has spawned numerous reboots, video games, and even a broadway show. The Addams’ graced us with their presence again in 2019 with the new movie, The Addams Family. This time, Charlize Theron was tasked with playing one of the most memorable female characters of all time. Enjoy reading these Morticia Addams quotes!
Don’t forget to also check out these classic, kooky, and terrifying Addams Family quotes.
Short (six words or fewer) and funny Morticia Addams quotes
1. “Black is such a happy color.” ― Morticia Addams
2. “Darling, I always wear black.” ― Morticia Addams
3. “My major? Spells and hexes.” ― Morticia Addams
4. “Thing, you’re a handful.” ― Morticia Addams
5. “It has to be damp.” ― Morticia Addams
6. “What a glorious evening. Rain.” ― Morticia Addams
7. “Salt, pepper, or cyanide?” ― Morticia Addams
8. “Scream if you need anything.” ― Morticia Addams
9. “How delightfully tragic!” ― Morticia Addams
10. “Oh, no. He lives.” ― Morticia Addams
Morticia Addams quotes about romance and love
11. “There’s nothing more romantic than a dark, chill attic in a thunderstorm.” ― Morticia Addams
12. “Hearts are wild creatures; that’s why our ribs are cages.” ― Morticia Addams
13. “You are dearer to me than all the bats in all the caves in the world.” ― Morticia Addams
14. “I’ve been yours since that first day you carved my initials in your leg.” ― Morticia Addams
15. “When we’re together, every night is Halloween.” ― Morticia Addams
16. “Last night, you were unhinged. You were like some desperate, howling demon. You frightened me. Do it again!” ― Morticia Addams
17. “A day alone; only that would be death.” ― Morticia Addams
18. “You have enslaved him. You have placed Fester under some strange sexual spell. I respect that. But please, may we see him?” ― Morticia Addams
19. “Our lifeless bodies rotting together for all eternity.” ― Morticia Addams
20. “When we first met years ago, it was an evening much like this. Magic in the air.” ― Morticia Addams
Morticia Addams quotes about parenting
21. “Wednesday, look at all of the other children, their freckles, their bright little eyes, their eager, friendly smiles. Help them.” ― Morticia Addams
22. “Marvelous news. I’m going to have a baby. Right now.” ― Morticia Addams
23. “Do you think that when a new baby arrives, one of the other children has to die?” ― Morticia Addams
24. “It’s so sweet. He looks just like a little entrée.” ― Morticia Addams
25. “Wednesday’s great-aunt Calpurnia. She was burned as a witch in 1706. They said she danced naked in the town square and enslaved the minister. But don’t worry. We’ve told Wednesday college first.” ― Morticia Addams
26. “All the important numbers: Police, Fire Department, Morgue.” ― Morticia Addams
27. “Wednesday’s at that very special age when a girl has only one thing on her mind.” ― Morticia Addams
28. “Children, what are you doing?” ― Morticia Addams
29. “Wednesday, play with your food!” ― Morticia Addams
30. “Gomez, take those out of his mouth.” ― Morticia Addams
A little bit backward, yet still inspirational, Morticia Addams quotes
31. “Did I just hear a peal of thunder? That’s the most heavenly sound.” ― Morticia Addams
32. “Life’s not all lovely thorns and singing vultures, you know.” ― Morticia Addams
33. “Darling, some people have a twisted sense of beauty.” ― Morticia Addams
34. “This morning when I woke up, and the sky was all dark and cloudy, I knew right then and there that this was going to be a lovely day.” ― Morticia Addams
35. “In this weather? With all the blue sky and sunshine?” ― Morticia Addams
36. “Oh Gomez, it’s dark, it’s depressing, it’s desolate. It’s a dream.” ― Morticia Addams
37. “Normal is an illusion. What is normal for the spider is chaos for the fly.” ― Morticia Addams
38. “I know it is wet, and the sun is not sunny. But we can have lots of good fun, that is funny.” ― Morticia Addams
39. “You’ve done this before.” ― Morticia Addams
40. “Hush, Mama! It’s for charity! Widows and orphans. We need more of them.” ― Morticia Addams
Morticia Addams quotes about being a woman, marriage, and family
41. “It’s impossible that blondes have more fun.” ― Morticia Addams
42. “Don’t torture yourself, Gomez. That’s my job.” ― Morticia Addams
43. “I’m just like any modern woman trying to have it all. Loving husband, a family. It’s just; I wish I had more time to seek out the dark forces and join their hellish crusade.” ― Morticia Addams
44. “Flora, Fauna, how can I compete? You’re twice the woman I am.” ― Morticia Addams
45. “You have gone too far. You have married Fester, you have destroyed his spirit, you have taken him from us. All that I could forgive. But Debbie, pastels?” ― Morticia Addams
46. “Our whole family together—at last, three generations—above ground.” ― Morticia Addams
47. “Gomez, why don’t we go for a drive? The whole family.” ― Morticia Addams
48. “My baby is ill, and my husband is dying. Oh, Mama, what shall I do?” ― Morticia Addams
49. “So, you still desire me after all these years? The old ball and chain?” ― Morticia Addams
50. “Children, do you think we love the baby more than we love you?” ― Morticia Addams
Which of these Morticia Addams quotes is your favorite?
The 2019 film received mixed reviews from critics for its narrative and screenplay. However, the performances and animation were praised. The film was also a box office hit, grossing $203 million on a $24 million budget. No doubt, in part, to the fascination we have with Morticia Addams.
Charles Addams (the creator) once described Morticia as “The real head of the family … low-voiced, incisive and subtle, smiles are rare…ruined beauty … contemptuous and original and with fierce family loyalty … even in disposition, muted, witty, sometimes deadly … given to low-keyed rhapsodies about her garden of deadly nightshade, henbane, and dwarf’s hair.”
Many of these Morticia Addams quotes center around her being the head of the family. She remarks on what it is like to be a wife and a mother, while still being the ideal woman.
What makes it all so funny, is that the Addams’ view of ideal or “normal” is so far out there, and they all just seem to have no idea. This sequel will give us many more Morticia Addams quotes (once again played by Charlize Theron) that will have us trying to decide whether to laugh or be shocked.
What is your favorite thing about Morticia Addams? Do you have any other Morticia Addams quotes and sayings to add? Let us know using the comment